Sean is about 8 months old in these:
So much happier now that we have more recent pictures! Everyone just wants to pinch those cheeks! We can't wait to be able to do it in person.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
More Pictures of Sean!
Almost immediately after we completed the acceptance paperwork, we were sent a new medical report, and more importantly, new photos! (I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Of course the health of the child is more important than the way he looks.)
Sean is about 8 months old in these:
So much happier now that we have more recent pictures! Everyone just wants to pinch those cheeks! We can't wait to be able to do it in person.
Sean is about 8 months old in these:
So much happier now that we have more recent pictures! Everyone just wants to pinch those cheeks! We can't wait to be able to do it in person.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
It's A Boy!!!!!
Last night when the phone rang, I knew. I just knew. Our social worker, Lisa, called with the most wonderful news-- we have a son! Bak Seok-min was born August, 27, 2009 outside of Seoul, and Lisa was going on and on about how cute he was, and about his height and his weight and percentile of this and it was all I could do not to scream "Shut up and email us a picture!!!! Send the picture!!! Where's the picture!!!?"
And here it is:
He's pretty cute-- even for a newborn, which I always think are hideous and look like creepy aliens, except in very rare instances. Stop making that face at the computer screen, you know it's true. Everyone pretends that they are adorable, but in reality they usually look like something that was plucked from Area 51. Well, not my son. I think the hair helps a great deal.
It's so exciting and overwhelming and exhilarating!!! But also seems quite surreal. The plan is to change his first name to Sean and leave Seok-min as his middle name. For a long while we were leaning towards Julian, but I decided I didn't want him getting beat up on playgrounds. So we went with the second Lennon son. This way, when people ask who he's named after, I can say "Shelby." (Tradition in Jewish families, at least mine and the ones I know, is to take the first letter of the name someone who has died and use that letter to choose the child's name. So yes, I'm honoring my dog. I love following rules.)
And here it is:
It's so exciting and overwhelming and exhilarating!!! But also seems quite surreal. The plan is to change his first name to Sean and leave Seok-min as his middle name. For a long while we were leaning towards Julian, but I decided I didn't want him getting beat up on playgrounds. So we went with the second Lennon son. This way, when people ask who he's named after, I can say "Shelby." (Tradition in Jewish families, at least mine and the ones I know, is to take the first letter of the name someone who has died and use that letter to choose the child's name. So yes, I'm honoring my dog. I love following rules.)
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Our Home Study Is Done! Let The Waiting Begin.
(A guest blog post from the Dad-To Be.)
Sorry that it's taken so long to post an update, but you know how it is with the holidays. The big news is that our home study is done, and our social worker Stacey is most likely busy as we speak trying to put into words just how wonderful Lori and I are, and how we will be the greatest parents ever.
But seriously, folks, if anybody ever tells you that an adoption home study is a stressful event, something ain't right with their agency or social worker. Stacey couldn't have been any nicer or made the process any easier. She came to our house two times for a total of about five hours. From the second she arrived, she made us feel completely at ease. Truth be told, the process actually made us feel even better about the decision we've made. (And I'm speaking for Lori here, but I'm sure she'd agree.)
So where do we go from here? We wait. For those of you who think you'll be attending a baby shower for us this year -- don't go running to Kids 'R' Us just yet. Stacey said we should tell everybody to expect this to go down in Summer 2010. Yes, you read that right. 2010. We'll probably have a match in early 2010, and then it's another four months or so after that until Korean Baby arrives.
Sorry that it's taken so long to post an update, but you know how it is with the holidays. The big news is that our home study is done, and our social worker Stacey is most likely busy as we speak trying to put into words just how wonderful Lori and I are, and how we will be the greatest parents ever.
But seriously, folks, if anybody ever tells you that an adoption home study is a stressful event, something ain't right with their agency or social worker. Stacey couldn't have been any nicer or made the process any easier. She came to our house two times for a total of about five hours. From the second she arrived, she made us feel completely at ease. Truth be told, the process actually made us feel even better about the decision we've made. (And I'm speaking for Lori here, but I'm sure she'd agree.)
So where do we go from here? We wait. For those of you who think you'll be attending a baby shower for us this year -- don't go running to Kids 'R' Us just yet. Stacey said we should tell everybody to expect this to go down in Summer 2010. Yes, you read that right. 2010. We'll probably have a match in early 2010, and then it's another four months or so after that until Korean Baby arrives.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Our Homestudy is Scheduled!
We finally got a call from our social worker, Stacey. She seems really cool, and very energetic and positive, and easy to talk to. It was weird to speak to someone who likes her job so much. An alien concept to most people I know. It just spilled out from her, over the phone. What a freak. Ha, ha, I keed, I keed. Stacey herself has two adult children who were adopted from Korea, which is also really awesome. Who better to step families through this process than someone who has been there first hand?
Anyway, she said her schedule was filling up, so we made the appointments for early December, two mornings, and we'll have to take a few hours off work. The first session should be about 2 hours, and I think she is mostly going to look at our house, and not really delve too deeply into, well, us. The second session should be about 3 hours, and that's where we'll go over those giant essays we wrote and anything else she wants to ask us, and all of this will depend on how many questions we have for her, and how much info she can get from us. I also found out she likes dogs, which is good.
The other information she gave me dealt with time frames. She said with the holidays and everything, we could assume she would be done writing our homestudy in January and it would then be sent to Korea. Based on current wait times, it would be another 12 to 13 months for a match/referral. That means it will be about a year from the time our file goes to Korea to which we are matched with a baby. If you are keeping track, that's January/February 2010. Then, it's another 4 or 5 months for the baby to come home. She said we'd be safe telling our family and friends not to expect anything before SUMMER 2010. She kept trying to tell me it wasn't such a long time, and it would go fast, which was funny to me because I hadn't expressed anything about the long time-frame. It's really okay by me. So there you have it. But keep in mind, anything can happen.
Anyway, she said her schedule was filling up, so we made the appointments for early December, two mornings, and we'll have to take a few hours off work. The first session should be about 2 hours, and I think she is mostly going to look at our house, and not really delve too deeply into, well, us. The second session should be about 3 hours, and that's where we'll go over those giant essays we wrote and anything else she wants to ask us, and all of this will depend on how many questions we have for her, and how much info she can get from us. I also found out she likes dogs, which is good.
The other information she gave me dealt with time frames. She said with the holidays and everything, we could assume she would be done writing our homestudy in January and it would then be sent to Korea. Based on current wait times, it would be another 12 to 13 months for a match/referral. That means it will be about a year from the time our file goes to Korea to which we are matched with a baby. If you are keeping track, that's January/February 2010. Then, it's another 4 or 5 months for the baby to come home. She said we'd be safe telling our family and friends not to expect anything before SUMMER 2010. She kept trying to tell me it wasn't such a long time, and it would go fast, which was funny to me because I hadn't expressed anything about the long time-frame. It's really okay by me. So there you have it. But keep in mind, anything can happen.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Mandatory Parent Training Classes 1 and 2
Well, we attended the first two parts of an ultimately 6-part mandatory class schedule for parents-in-progress of an international adoption. While there were some good things about it, I tend to have a visceral reaction to the word "mandatory" and immediately become grumpy, feel put-upon, and begin grumbling about "The Man." I also hate sitting in classes, and forced socialization. That said, it was a good forum to be able to ask questions, and see the variety of people who were in the same boat as us. And the social worker presiding over the class was super-nice, easy to talk to, and seemed to genuinely love her job. The couple sitting across from us was in process to adopt from Nepal. Nepal? The only reason I know where Nepal is, is because in Raiders of the Lost Ark, that's where Indiana Jones seeks out Marian Ravenwood at that bar where she outdrinks the local, because he's trying to get the headpiece to the Staff of Ra...okay, I'm geeking out a bit here. Anyway, I found that fascinating, and they seemed nice.
We went around the room, introducing ourselves, and then basically just spent a good deal of time asking questions. A lot of people were asking questions I thought were stupid, probably because we (Wade and I) already knew the answers to them. Do your homework, people. And so much of this process has so many unknowns, it's hard to give a definitive answer anyway. No, we don't know how long the wait is going to be from the time your paperwork goes overseas-- which was pretty much what everyone ultimately wanted to know.
Next, we did an exercise on a sheet of paper where we had to match up a list of important events in adoption history, with the year we thought they took place. Then we had to match up a second list saying why these events were important. That's all fine, but I felt that it was nothing I should've had to sit in a classroom for, and I'm not sure how my familiarity with the "orphan trains" that began in the mid 1800s are going to help me at 2am with a screaming 11 month-old who never slept in a crib before. But maybe we cover more pertinent stuff in the later sessions.
Next we watched a video tape of teenagers who had been adopted internationally. They all spoke positively, and seemed well-adjusted, and happy. I know from speaking with friends who have been through the process that they are saving the other video-- the ones of the angry teens, resentful of being torn away from their "families" and culture--is being saved for later.
We then broke for lunch-- which was the highlight of the day. We met up with a friend from college and her family, which included her biological son, and adopted Korean daughter, who was just too adorable. We had a great time at lunch, and I got a lot more information out of them than I did from the class.
When we returned from the class, we had to do an exercise that invovled drawing a picture in a group with crayons, without speaking to each other. I got the white crayon, because I was supposed to be frustrated by being "invisible". Except I pushed so hard, I broke the crayon in half, and then just continued on with a pretty pink pen I had in my purse. Invisible my ass. One of our group members was asked to leave and join another group, and were secretly told to "disrupt" the new group's drawing. When we reconvened, we were asked how we felt about the disruptive person, and how we dealt with them. This was supposed to symbolize the newly adopted child coming in and disrupting our families. It's these types of things that make me want to run around screaming. Really? A new baby is going to disrupt our lives as we know it? Really? Gosh, I'm so glad you had me draw this picture, because I never would've realized that on my own.
The last part of the class was, in my opinion, the most valuable. We talked about the effects of institutionalization on children, and how this may affect their behavior once they came home. We talked about different developmental rates, and talked about language adaption-- this was important stuff. We should've been doing this type of stuff the whole time. We also went over a list of actual comments that children have said to their parents-- and discussed how to handle these awkward and surprising situations. Hopefully the future classes will feature more of this sort of topical information, and less drawing in silence.
We went around the room, introducing ourselves, and then basically just spent a good deal of time asking questions. A lot of people were asking questions I thought were stupid, probably because we (Wade and I) already knew the answers to them. Do your homework, people. And so much of this process has so many unknowns, it's hard to give a definitive answer anyway. No, we don't know how long the wait is going to be from the time your paperwork goes overseas-- which was pretty much what everyone ultimately wanted to know.
Next, we did an exercise on a sheet of paper where we had to match up a list of important events in adoption history, with the year we thought they took place. Then we had to match up a second list saying why these events were important. That's all fine, but I felt that it was nothing I should've had to sit in a classroom for, and I'm not sure how my familiarity with the "orphan trains" that began in the mid 1800s are going to help me at 2am with a screaming 11 month-old who never slept in a crib before. But maybe we cover more pertinent stuff in the later sessions.
Next we watched a video tape of teenagers who had been adopted internationally. They all spoke positively, and seemed well-adjusted, and happy. I know from speaking with friends who have been through the process that they are saving the other video-- the ones of the angry teens, resentful of being torn away from their "families" and culture--is being saved for later.
We then broke for lunch-- which was the highlight of the day. We met up with a friend from college and her family, which included her biological son, and adopted Korean daughter, who was just too adorable. We had a great time at lunch, and I got a lot more information out of them than I did from the class.
When we returned from the class, we had to do an exercise that invovled drawing a picture in a group with crayons, without speaking to each other. I got the white crayon, because I was supposed to be frustrated by being "invisible". Except I pushed so hard, I broke the crayon in half, and then just continued on with a pretty pink pen I had in my purse. Invisible my ass. One of our group members was asked to leave and join another group, and were secretly told to "disrupt" the new group's drawing. When we reconvened, we were asked how we felt about the disruptive person, and how we dealt with them. This was supposed to symbolize the newly adopted child coming in and disrupting our families. It's these types of things that make me want to run around screaming. Really? A new baby is going to disrupt our lives as we know it? Really? Gosh, I'm so glad you had me draw this picture, because I never would've realized that on my own.
The last part of the class was, in my opinion, the most valuable. We talked about the effects of institutionalization on children, and how this may affect their behavior once they came home. We talked about different developmental rates, and talked about language adaption-- this was important stuff. We should've been doing this type of stuff the whole time. We also went over a list of actual comments that children have said to their parents-- and discussed how to handle these awkward and surprising situations. Hopefully the future classes will feature more of this sort of topical information, and less drawing in silence.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
In the Mail
Well, it took, oh, I don't know, slightly over three months, but we finally, finally, finally finished doing, signing, filling out, completing, and printing everything in the packet we received from the agency way back at the end of May. As a refresher, this included our long personal essays, fingerprinting forms, employment verification forms, health forms, financial statement, copies of birth certificates and marriage license, map/directions to our house, and one photo of each of us alone and what will be the baby's room. I wrote a cover letter, put on some binder clips, and brought the package to the downstairs mailbox this morning, away from the prying, nosy eyes of my co-workers. (I used my USPS's "Click and Ship" account, because I'm frequently too lazy to walk to the post office. Sad, but true.)
I think the next step is the agency reviewing what we sent them, and setting up our home study, which can take about 8-6 weeks. (And billing us $2000 for the home study. Don't want to forget that.) Of course, in 8 weeks we'll be washing down oysters with beer in the Keys, but I'm sure they will work around our travel plans. We've also scheduled the first two modules of our parenting course for Saturday, October 18.
A long lost college friend recently got in touch with me on Facebook. While I was looking at her pictures, I noticed her daughter was Asian. I sent her a message and found out that not only was her adorable daughter adopted from Korea, they used the same agency as we did, and we will most likely have the same social worker. She's already been an excellent source of advice and guidance and I'm so glad she suddenly and randomly found me. Talk about serendipity.
That's about it.
I think the next step is the agency reviewing what we sent them, and setting up our home study, which can take about 8-6 weeks. (And billing us $2000 for the home study. Don't want to forget that.) Of course, in 8 weeks we'll be washing down oysters with beer in the Keys, but I'm sure they will work around our travel plans. We've also scheduled the first two modules of our parenting course for Saturday, October 18.
A long lost college friend recently got in touch with me on Facebook. While I was looking at her pictures, I noticed her daughter was Asian. I sent her a message and found out that not only was her adorable daughter adopted from Korea, they used the same agency as we did, and we will most likely have the same social worker. She's already been an excellent source of advice and guidance and I'm so glad she suddenly and randomly found me. Talk about serendipity.
That's about it.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Wassup, Doc?
I had my doctor's visit this morning, and got the results of my tests, and had the health form filled out. It was went really smoothly, and I am apparently the picture of health. (My cholesterol is 170! I didn't need that for the adoption application, I just figured, hell, since they were taking blood, they might as well give me a full work-up. My LDL-HDL ratio is exceptional too.) And... I might have fudged my weight a little-- but it's the nurse's fault for asking me instead of actually making me get on the scale. If I was a nurse, and I was going to ask people their weight, I would just automatically add about 20lbs on to whatever they said.
Wade already had his appointment a week ago, so he just needs to get his employment verification form signed by his boss, and then we can finish up the financial form, and read/edit each other's essays/personal statements. Then, this packet we've had for several months will be ready to be sent back to the agency.
Wade already had his appointment a week ago, so he just needs to get his employment verification form signed by his boss, and then we can finish up the financial form, and read/edit each other's essays/personal statements. Then, this packet we've had for several months will be ready to be sent back to the agency.
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