Sunday, September 12, 2010

Things are Going Really Well

They are! Sean seems to be adjusting really well-- he's happy, he's eating, he's pooping, he's sleeping. He babbles and laughs and "dances" by swinging his arms back and forth like some sort of weird calisthenics movie clip from the 1920s. He likes the car seat, he likes the stroller. We've only been home for 48 hours and he's already successfully had trips to Shop Rite, Carter's, Babies R Us. He also survived an afternoon enveloped in the chaos of a family gathering, and even took a nap while he was there. He cries some, but it comes and goes like the clouds passing in front of the sun. I'm actually crying more than he is, because this kid is seriously cutting into my Internet surfing and tv watching time. Good thing he's as cute as he is. I shudder to think if the Fates had chosen to give me an unattractive kid.

Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy every second of this, but you know, Sean's and my concepts of "fun" are pretty far apart at this juncture. I look forward to the day we can play Wii together and maybe watch a horror movie he really shouldn't be watching, huddled together on the couch under a blanket to duck for the really scary parts. Sean's current idea of a good time is hurling things; Chloe has quickly learned to duck and cover.

Speaking of Chloe, she's being really great. When Sean cries in his crib she parks herself on the floor in front of him and watches him like a guard dog. She only wants to go over to him and lick him and love him, but he screams and tries to draw his arms and legs up into himself like a hermit crab. She somehow knows not to jump on him, a rule that doesn't apply to anyone else (except maybe my father.) He watches her with interest until she comes too close. He hasn't yet figured out he can entertain himself by throwing his food down to her. I'm sure she's trying to mind-meld with him to get him to do it, so it's only a matter of time.

We have a trip to the park planned for tomorrow, so hopefully I'll have some more good pics to post.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Killing time...In the lobby, during more rain

Ok, first i want to say that typing on sn iPad kind of blows. Second, I did write an update yesterday and I'm sorry for not posting it on Facebook. Take some initiative peopler, I can only take care of one baby at a time. :)

We are sitting in the lobby, waiting for 1.30pm to come. We had to check out at noon and the van to the airport isn't coming until 1:30. Luckily there's wireless down here--this is the happiest I've felt in days. I will not do well during the apocalypse, I need my instant all access all the time Internet.

Sean skipped him morning nap and is now sleeping in his umbrella stroller (thanks Coleen!) I wheeled him around until he nodded off. We gave him a bath last night and let him have his empty bottle in his mouth, there was significantly less screaming. He even splashed around a little and played with some toys. All hell broke loose when it was shampoo time though. I need to finesse that. Imagine I'd dislike water being dumped in my hesd too.

Sean slept in a crib last night, which was exciting, since his foster mother had him on the floor on some sort of mattress or something. And we'd had him on the floor for two nights too. He was playing with his feet, bottle in mouth for a while, but we didn't care what he did in there as long as he wasn't crying. I guess he may have fallen asleep at 8.30 or so and didn't wake up until 6:15. Yeah, I know, we hit the baby jackpot. All of you with your dire warnings about me and Wade never sleeping again can suck it. (the upcoming plane rides not withstanding, I'm not expecting to sleep at all, and didn't really on the way here either. I don't do well on planes.)

I'm not sure what else to say. The plane ride will be what it will be. I'm fully expecting to to suck, and if it doesn't, well then i'll be pleasantly surprised. This will literally be the longest day of my life --- it's 1:00pm here on Friday, I have about 15 hours of flying ahead of me, with a couple of hours in San Fran to stop over and we're landing at 10:30pm, still Friday. I just want to come home. I've had enough of letters I can't read and money with too many zeros on the end. I miss Chloe. She is just going eat Sean up. Um, not literally though. I saud Chloe, not Shelby. :)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

The First 24 Hours

Things are going really well. (Note, this will be a boring post for those of you not interested in the mundane details of taking care of a baby. In fact, posting this might even put me to sleep. I'm only interested because it's happening to me. And even that... ) Sean seems to have taken to us right away (especially Wade, heheheh).


 They said to leave him in his clothes for a while since it was a familiar smell, which we did. But we also wanted to get him out of his little suit with suspenders outfit, complete with dickey. Koreans dress in layers I'm told. This did seem to be the case when we changed him, because there were lots of clothes to undo-- the pants with the suspenders, the button down shirt, the elastic dickey/bow tie thing, and underneath was like another set of white cotton shorts. Americans don't have time for that, unless they live in Alaska. Or Utah, and I think those extra undergarments are considered magic anyway. The clothes we brought for him aren't fitting so good. I thought these pjs fit him, but I guess they might be too loose. My sister says that kids' pjs are supposed to be tight. Either that, or she just liked my nephew running around like a gay superhero. (Sorry, Jaim, I couldn't resist.) They were size 24 months. But this morning, when I put on some size 18 months shorts, they were too big. They fell off him when he stood up and the poor kid spent most of the afternoon pantless in a too big tee shirt. Maybe he's not as big as I think he is. He's just kind of solid, I guess.


We're trying to sort out his cues and quirks and it's getting better. He hates being put down flat on his back on a bed. So he screams bloody murder while changing his diaper or his clothes (refer back to comment above about removing his Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit) . He also does not like taking a bath. He needed one though, so I was just like, suck it up, kid and dumped water on top of his head to wash his hair. Thank God I had watched Jaimie bathe Matty and Kaelyn enough times to know how to do it. You think this baby care shit comes naturally? I'm missing part of that gene if so.  It was a very quick bath. If this doesn't improve, all baths will be really quick ones.

His foster mother said he was a good sleeper, which he is. After he napped for two hours yesterday afternoon, we got him to bed at about 8:30pm. We figured out quickly that no matter what, he likes to fall asleep with a bottle in his mouth, even if it's empty. He slept nearly straight through to 6am, getting up once at about 12:30am to kvetch a bit for about 5 minutes, but he went back to sleep. I wish I had slept as well. We had the AC off so we could hear him and also left a light on in the kitchen-- both things I hate. Not only was it hot, I need the white noise of the AC to sleep. So I look kind of tired even though he slept great.

Breakfast this morning went fantastically. He cried a little when we first put him into the high chair, but we put a bottle in front of him (empty-- it doesn't seem to matter. He won't take a pacifier though, so don't bother suggesting it.) and some toys and he stopped. That kid can eat! I have no idea if it's ok to give scrambled eggs to a 1 year old, but I did. He had some eggs, pancakes, yogurt, bread, scraped apple, grilled pumpkin (seriously-- there are some interesting things at the breakfast buffet here), seafood porridge-- I'm not kidding. (And you know I had some grilled pumpkin and seafood porridge at breakfast too.)


He's drooling like a maniac. It's kind of gross. Teeth are coming in. My nephew Matty was the same way, it just poured out of him. I'm concerned because he still hasn't pooped yet. I want him to poop. Preferably before we get on the plane tomorrow. Trying to change him on a bed isn't fun, trying to change him and balance him and clean an enormous poopy diaper ass in a plane.... I'm starting to cry just thinking about it.

We were going to take him out today, do some more shopping and site seeing, buy some souvenirs. But it's been raining most of the day. We don't have an umbrella or a raincoat for him. So Wade trekked out alone to the Lotte Mart for diapers, baby food, more bottles-- he's my hero. He took the subway and did the shopping all by himself. He's the best! But no one is getting any souvenirs from Seoul, I'm sorry. The timing and the weather didn't cooperate. We didn't even buy anything for ourselves! I'm a bad daughter/sister/aunt. Sean will have to be the souvenir.

That's about it. He's sleeping again now. I want to come home so badly, but I start crying with dread when I think about the plane ride home tomorrow. I feel like there aren't enough drugs in the world to make this go well. (I meant drugs for me, not for the baby!) I guess it's like Sean in the bath last night: suck it up, kid.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Gotcha, Sean! (or Um, Someone Just Gave us a Baby)

So yeah, we are now a family of three! Sean is sleeping right now. Out like a light. He's on the floor (on a down comforter that has been folded over three or four times)in the second bedroom of our hotel suite with the blinds drawn. His foster mother said he sleeps on the floor, so we figured what the hell. But let me back up a bit so you can have the details...
We arrived at the Holt offices about a half hour early and paced up and down the street for fifteen minutes, because we didn't know what else to do with ourselves. At 1:15pm we decided we had enough and headed in to the building.


We went into the building, to the second floor, which I admit was a little bit more drab than I thought it was going to be. Did that sound snobby? Sorry, I'm not sure what I was expecting. We ran into DJ You in the hall and she led us in to the meeting room. Greeting room? Something like that. DJ brought us some water and told us to take a seat. Before she closed the door, we thought we saw Sean being carried by on his foster mother's back, but I think now that it was another baby. That one was much too small.

We waited in there for another 10-15 minutes and there was a knock on the door. In walked DJ and Sean's foster mom carrying Sean! After looking at his picture every day since mid-April, there he was, in the flesh. She handed him to me. He was bigger than I expected. The kid is solid. Brick shit-house. (I never really understood that expression. I guess because I've never seen one.) I now don't know if the clothes we brought with us are even going to fit. He cried a bit when I sat down with him on my lap, and DJ asked if we had brought any toys with us. Yes, we had, only we left them all in the hotel room. Why would we bring toys to go pick up a baby? Duhh. They had some toys there which we gave him and he immediately quieted down. Wade and I passed him back and forth while we asked questions and the foster mom offered information, all translated by DJ.


We found out all of the following from the foster mom: Sean is a good sleeper. He goes to bed early and wakes up early (7pm to 4am she said. Hoping we can shift that by an hour.) She said that he doesn't sleep in the bed with her, but rather on the floor in their room. He also takes a morning and an afternoon nap for about an hour and a half. He still gets formula every four hours, which seems a little fucking weird to me since he's over 1 now. He poops twice a day, is generally a happy baby, and does not like taking baths. She aid he's not walking yet, but takes two steps and falls down. Maybe that's good thing until we get home. In addition to formula, apparently the foster mom makes some kind of home made porridge (it actually says "gruel" on the medical forms, I kid you not. How very Oliver Twist.) with meat and veggies or something. Whatever. I'm American. We make that shit instant and out of a box. He also eats yogurt and cheese and rice and bread-- she actually said there's nothing he doesn't like. Apparently. Which is good, he fits in with us well. It's hard to remember what else was said right now. She had gifts for us-- a beautiful giant framed picture of Sean in a traditional Hanbok on his first birthday. It's in a beautiful double-frame with his Korean name and some letters. It's amazing. Only, I'm not sure how the fuck we're going to get that thing home. I don't even know if it will fit in the luggage let alone not break on the way. And I'm going to have enough carry ons to worry about. It was an awesome thing to do, but really, not terribly travel friendly. She gave us a hanbok and two of his favorite toys in a little backpack. There was a stack of pictures taken by both foster moms (he had two) and a couple of outfits, one of which was the Rutgers onesie we had sent. The other things we had sent, including the book (which I guess she wanted to keep??) and the soft stuffed doggie and the pajamas were nowhere to be found. Maybe he grew out of them? Holt gave us bottles and diapers and formula and a Korean-style baby bjorn-ish carrier. I'm hoping not to use it, or my back is going to hurt.

When we ran out of questions we went downstairs for his final medical checkup to see if he was ok to travel. This comprehensive medical review consisted of taking his temperature, listening to his heart, and checking his tushy. Apparently that was all fine. I had read on some blogs that some of the foster moms wanted some alone time to say goodbye, but she was just kind of like, here you go, see ya. She was very, um, efficient. And at one point she was soothing him and pounding on his back really hard-- I guess it's a cultural thing. We met the foster father outside who was waiting to pick up the foster mom and we all had our picture taken together on the front steps.

Then we got into the cab, she handed him off to me, and we were gone. I think Wade had to sign one single paper. This whole thing was just so weird.

Sean did really well on the cab ride home, which was long because of traffic. He didn't cry for a long time and we kept him busy with his books and we discovered that he claps his hands, and if you say "Yayyyy!!!!" and clap your hands back he actually squeals with laughter. Towards the end of the cab ride, he started screaming though. We think it was because it was past his nap time, and not so much part of the grieving process. After about 10 minutes of showing us the power of his lungs, he finally shut his eyes and fell asleep on my shoulder. He woke up a few times on the way up to the hotel room, but he's still sleeping on the floor and it's an hour and a half later.

I'm thinking we should wake him up. Right? We should wake him up? Or else he won't go to sleep tonight? Right? I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. If we do wake him up, that's mostly when he'll freak, because he'll be looking for his foster mother. Well, wish us luck, so far so good...

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Seoul Subway Outing

Wade is the man. He carefully read reviews and studied maps. He initially found some sort of crazy-ass mega complex electronics store complex spread out in a compound of something like 1000+ stores. It was the biggest one in Asia. Kind of overkill though for a USB to ethernet adapter. So he discovered the smaller (but still pretty huge) Techno Mart and we decided to give it a go. All so that I could sit in our hotel room on our bed surfing. Either he really loves me, or he just can't stand to hear my continuous pissing and moaning. Likely it's both.

We found the metro station nearest our hotel and ventured down. The cleanliness was astounding. My house isn't as clean as this subway station was. The metro card machines and the maps all have English with the Korean. It took us a little while to figure out the best route and where we needed to transfer to a new line and we got our cards and off we went.

Me and the Soul Metro map


The ride was pretty long, probably 15 stops or so each way. It seemed long. The inside of the cars were as clean, if not cleaner, than the station. There's TV screens with information and ads playing in all the cars and there's a little tune that plays when the car stops. On the way back, the car had a light up subway map that glowed to indicate which stop you were at and had little lit-up arrows indicating the direction in between stops. Nothing like NYC. I am now convinced that foreign visitors to NYC who attempt the subway are the bravest people ever. If I was used to a transit system like this, and I went to New York, I would be utterly skeeved. Terrified possibly. Dank and full of unidentifiable smells and screeching of the brakes. I know New Yorkers are proud of their grit, but it's kinda gross. Seriously. You should be embarrassed. It doesn't have to be that way, clearly.

Anyway, we made it to Techno Mart at the Ganbyeon Station stop. We walked the wrong way out of the station at first and some nice man tried to give us directions in hand motions, but we eventually found the building. It was 8+ giant floors of shopping, heavy on the electronics from phones and computers to TVs and appliances but there were also clothes and accessories too. It was like Jersey Gardens but much taller and crammed full of even more shit. Wade, having done his homework knew which floor to go on to and we even found a seller who spoke English. We bought the adapter and a longer ethernet cable and a connector. Which is how I'm sitting on the bed typing this to you now.

Techno Mart

On the upper floor of the building is a food court of sorts, except it's not a court and it's more like a labyrinth of tiny shops and yummy smells. We ended up having some dumplings at a place that had some English on the menu, but no one in there spoke any. We ordered by pointing. They brought out some banchan just like at a Korean bbq and I was managing fine with the metal chopsticks, but when I tried to eat the dumpling with it, the woman came over and took a spoon and cut up my dumpling with it and spooned broth and sauce over it. I don't know if she felt bad for me, or if she was upset that I wasn't eating it right. Regardless, they were very yummy.

So here we are. It's ten to eight here and I'm trying to keep my eyes open. Hopefully I can blame this on still having jet lag and not that I'm tired and I suck. If I fall asleep at 8pm, it will probably be a good thing, since we have a Very Big Day ahead of us tomorrow. Maybe the biggest day ever.

Seoul City Tour

We had our City Tour this morning. It wasn't quite what we were expecting, but it was good and helped us get our bearings. Our tour guide, Kim, kept saying her English wasn't that good, but we thought it was very good. She did say that she wasn't very knowledgeable about history, which was kind of a bummer since she didn't tell us very much about the places we were going and seeing. Kim was very, very sweet and she did her best, but I think Wade and I were both under the impression that this was going to be slightly more of a formal informational tour. Still, it was good to walk around with a local.

Wade and King Sejong

First we went to Deoksu Palace. Kim told us that there were 5 or 6 palaces still within Seoul. The one closest to our hotel, and the biggest of them all I believe, is closed on Tuesdays. Maybe we can stroll around with Sean on Thursday. Anyway, since Kim wasn't confident in her English or History skills, we waited for the English language tour. I enjoyed it, we got a lot of information. Mostly that the Japanese were aggressive, conquer-crazed jerk-offs. Who knew? The palace tour guide was so good with her English that she punctuated her sentences with "like," just like every native speaking American teen. What was kind of bummer was that all these buildings were maybe only 100 years old. I thought they were really old, like 15th century old, but apparently the Korea's building material of choice was wood. And wood burns. A lot. Especially if you are constantly being attacked by asshole Japanese who want dominion over all of Asia. Russians too. So I was disappointed that the buildings were rebuilt replicas, but they were still pretty and we were on the palace grounds. Although this was apparently only a temporary palace, used when the real palace(s) were being renovated (after burning to the ground numerous times?) As we finished the tour, we got to see the changing of the guard, which was colorful. And noisy.
Us outside the entrance gate to Deoksu Palace
Detail of building on Deoksu Palace Grounds

From there we went to Namdaemun Market which was a giant outdoor flea market in twisty turning alleys and small streets. It was busy and colorful and vibrant, but most of the stores seemed to be selling the kind of schlocky knockoffs you could get on any street corner from a vendor in NYC. There were some food carts that I would've approached (one of which was selling cooked pig legs--maybe not that one) out of curiosity but the tour was kind of awkward and weird and I didn't feel like I could really stop for some reason. I don't feel the need to go back there. I'm not much a flea market shopper anyway. Not my scene.


Namdaemung Market

We took a taxi back to Insadong which is right by our hotel and we didn't even know it. Now we're talking. Cute little shops, it reminded me of New Hope. We stopped at Starbucks (quaintly written in hangul, which is interesting since all the others we had seen had the English letters on the sign.) I made a mental note to definitely get back there for some shopping. (I've since seen the area described thusly by National Geographic"This pedestrian-friendly arts and crafts district also is known for traditional food and drink." Like I said. much more my speed.) From there we walked back to the hotel, gave Kim her gift, thanked her and headed in to the AC.

Right now we're still on a quest to get something to make the Internet connection happen in our room. It will be time to head home by the time we figure this out.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Arrival in Korea

Wow. Well, we’re here! We made it. The flight was impossibly long. I really can’t sleep on planes. I even took a few Tylenol PMs and it did nothing. We had taken off from SFO almost an hour late because of some sort of mechanical issue. Nothing like starting out an 11.5 hour flight with an hour of sitting on the tarmac. I guess I'm spoiled by JetBlue and was a bit shocked an put out to see that we didn't all have our own TVs to watch on the seatback in front of us. A flight that long and you're going to force the whole plane to watch Jennifer Lopez in The Backup Plan?

When we finally made it to ICN, we had to wait an hour for our bags, apparently there was a broken belt on the carousel thingy. Which was still marginally better than sitting on the plane. We finally got our luggage, declared nothing in Customs and because we were late, decided to head out to see if our van driver was still actually waiting for us, instead of standing in line to exchange some cash for won. He was, and he found us quickly. The humidity outside the airport was intense, like NJ on the worst days of August.

The ride from the hotel was longer than I expected, but my sense of time by that point had been seriously warmped. Seoul looks a lot like California to me, particularly the Hollywood Hills area. At one point on the ride to the hotel, we could've been on the Jersey Turnpike. Not a compliment perhaps, but just stating fact.

Our hotel is nice, the room is kind of like being in a condo.



My biggest complaint is that there is no wireless in the room. I thought there was going to be. There's wireless in the lobby and in the "resident's lounge" but it's not the same. So much for my shiny new iPad. Additionally, the netbook we borrowed from my dad because it was so compact doesn't have an ethernet port, so the in-room wired connection we do have to the internet is useless right now. I realize these should not be important things since we are really just here to pick up our son, but I'm really kind of freaking out a bit. Wade said he would fix the problem while we were out today. I really wanted to post pictures of our trip as we went along. Especially tomorrow when we get Sean!

We were so exhausted by this point that we grabbed some sandwiches from the store downstairs (after using our ATM card for some won) and were in bed by 8:30pm Seoul time. This money situation here is a problem for me. I'm not good at math to begin with and seeing so many fucking zeros after everything makes me freak out. One US dollar is like 1175 won. So I just stand there like a deer in the headlights. The sandwiches we got were something like 16,000 won, which is about $13 and change. But I handed him a bill for 10,000 won and he sat there waiting for the rest of it, and I was like, uhhhh.... what?? And Wade nudged me and was like, you need another one. I hate feeling like this. Anyone who is mean to foreigners or tourists has clearly never been out of the country.

I'm typing this as a draft in Word since, as we discussed, I currently have no fucking internet. There's nothing on TV either, unless I have an urge to watch Al Jezera for some reason, which I do not. Wade is still sleeping, and I just watched the sun come up. The laptop says it's 5:35pm, which means it's 6:35am here, on Tuesday. Too bad I can't give you last night's winning lottery numbers, since I'm living in the future now.

Anyway, our city tour is at 9:00am or 9:30am, depending on which piece of paper we are led to believe. The alarm should go off in 20 minutes or so, so maybe I'll just make some tea and watch the sun reflect off the windows and the hillsides and contemplate how few quiet mornings I probably have left to me.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Have I Packed an Effing Thing? Nope.

We leave tomorrow. Tomorrow. In 24 hours from now, we should be one hour in to our flight to SFO. My brain wants me to start panicking. It wants to fill my blood with stress hormones and make me run around like a crazy bitch, throwing things in suitcases, screaming at everyone to get the hell out of my way and generally being miserable to everyone. And I keep feeling the urge welling up inside me, like a tiny Bubble of Nasty, but then it pops and I think, no, it's ok, we don't need to pack that much, it's really only 3 full days that don't involve travel, it will be fine, be cool, whatever we forget, we'll just buy there. Thank you, pharmaceutical industry!

I slept really great last night. (And for the Greek Chorus out there snickering that it will be my last night ever for that, to you I grandly say, "Go fuck yourselves.") You may very well be right. But I also know that my experiences are never the same as everyone tells me they're going to be, so we'll just wait and see. I took Chloe for a nice, long Zen Morning Walk at 6am and we watched the sky brighten and chased quite a few bunnies and squirrels away from their breakfasts. I thought that I likely wouldn't be taking her for her morning walk again until next Sunday. We also apparently ran into The Situation and a slightly preppier friend strolling down the middle of my otherwise silent street nowhere near the shore, smoking, and talking about some girls they met. The Sitch of Sayrewoods South looked as fresh and sparkling as if he had just gotten out of the shower and gotten cologned and dressed into his carefully ripped jeans and snug black Ed Hardy tee, which impressed me, because I assumed they must still have been up from last night. Chloe enthusiastically wagged her tail and I looked over to say hey, but they ignored us. And I thought, I wonder what the clueless, trendy assholes are going to be wearing when Sean is their age. I just pray that he's not one of them.

Wade is still sleeping. I know I have to start getting shit together, charging electronics, and packing for a person who I haven't even met yet. But I still just want to sit here at the computer a little longer, reveling in the peace and quiet and solitude that is sure to elude me for the next 17 years or so. 

The start of the adventure can wait another hour...