Our Homestudy is Scheduled!

We finally got a call from our social worker, Stacey. She seems really cool, and very energetic and positive, and easy to talk to. It was weird to speak to someone who likes her job so much. An alien concept to most people I know. It just spilled out from her, over the phone. What a freak. Ha, ha, I keed, I keed. Stacey herself has two adult children who were adopted from Korea, which is also really awesome. Who better to step families through this process than someone who has been there first hand?

Anyway, she said her schedule was filling up, so we made the appointments for early December, two mornings, and we'll have to take a few hours off work. The first session should be about 2 hours, and I think she is mostly going to look at our house, and not really delve too deeply into, well, us. The second session should be about 3 hours, and that's where we'll go over those giant essays we wrote and anything else she wants to ask us, and all of this will depend on how many questions we have for her, and how much info she can get from us. I also found out she likes dogs, which is good.

The other information she gave me dealt with time frames. She said with the holidays and everything, we could assume she would be done writing our homestudy in January and it would then be sent to Korea. Based on current wait times, it would be another 12 to 13 months for a match/referral. That means it will be about a year from the time our file goes to Korea to which we are matched with a baby. If you are keeping track, that's January/February 2010. Then, it's another 4 or 5 months for the baby to come home. She said we'd be safe telling our family and friends not to expect anything before SUMMER 2010. She kept trying to tell me it wasn't such a long time, and it would go fast, which was funny to me because I hadn't expressed anything about the long time-frame. It's really okay by me. So there you have it. But keep in mind, anything can happen.

Mandatory Parent Training Classes 1 and 2

Well, we attended the first two parts of an ultimately 6-part mandatory class schedule for parents-in-progress of an international adoption. While there were some good things about it, I tend to have a visceral reaction to the word "mandatory" and immediately become grumpy, feel put-upon, and begin grumbling about "The Man." I also hate sitting in classes, and forced socialization. That said, it was a good forum to be able to ask questions, and see the variety of people who were in the same boat as us. And the social worker presiding over the class was super-nice, easy to talk to, and seemed to genuinely love her job. The couple sitting across from us was in process to adopt from Nepal. Nepal? The only reason I know where Nepal is, is because in Raiders of the Lost Ark, that's where Indiana Jones seeks out Marian Ravenwood at that bar where she outdrinks the local, because he's trying to get the headpiece to the Staff of Ra...okay, I'm geeking out a bit here. Anyway, I found that fascinating, and they seemed nice.

We went around the room, introducing ourselves, and then basically just spent a good deal of time asking questions. A lot of people were asking questions I thought were stupid, probably because we (Wade and I) already knew the answers to them. Do your homework, people. And so much of this process has so many unknowns, it's hard to give a definitive answer anyway. No, we don't know how long the wait is going to be from the time your paperwork goes overseas-- which was pretty much what everyone ultimately wanted to know.

Next, we did an exercise on a sheet of paper where we had to match up a list of important events in adoption history, with the year we thought they took place. Then we had to match up a second list saying why these events were important. That's all fine, but I felt that it was nothing I should've had to sit in a classroom for, and I'm not sure how my familiarity with the "orphan trains" that began in the mid 1800s are going to help me at 2am with a screaming 11 month-old who never slept in a crib before. But maybe we cover more pertinent stuff in the later sessions.

Next we watched a video tape of teenagers who had been adopted internationally. They all spoke positively, and seemed well-adjusted, and happy. I know from speaking with friends who have been through the process that they are saving the other video-- the ones of the angry teens, resentful of being torn away from their "families" and culture--is being saved for later.

We then broke for lunch-- which was the highlight of the day. We met up with a friend from college and her family, which included her biological son, and adopted Korean daughter, who was just too adorable. We had a great time at lunch, and I got a lot more information out of them than I did from the class.

When we returned from the class, we had to do an exercise that invovled drawing a picture in a group with crayons, without speaking to each other. I got the white crayon, because I was supposed to be frustrated by being "invisible". Except I pushed so hard, I broke the crayon in half, and then just continued on with a pretty pink pen I had in my purse. Invisible my ass. One of our group members was asked to leave and join another group, and were secretly told to "disrupt" the new group's drawing. When we reconvened, we were asked how we felt about the disruptive person, and how we dealt with them. This was supposed to symbolize the newly adopted child coming in and disrupting our families. It's these types of things that make me want to run around screaming. Really? A new baby is going to disrupt our lives as we know it? Really? Gosh, I'm so glad you had me draw this picture, because I never would've realized that on my own.

The last part of the class was, in my opinion, the most valuable. We talked about the effects of institutionalization on children, and how this may affect their behavior once they came home. We talked about different developmental rates, and talked about language adaption-- this was important stuff. We should've been doing this type of stuff the whole time. We also went over a list of actual comments that children have said to their parents-- and discussed how to handle these awkward and surprising situations. Hopefully the future classes will feature more of this sort of topical information, and less drawing in silence.

In the Mail

Well, it took, oh, I don't know, slightly over three months, but we finally, finally, finally finished doing, signing, filling out, completing, and printing everything in the packet we received from the agency way back at the end of May. As a refresher, this included our long personal essays, fingerprinting forms, employment verification forms, health forms, financial statement, copies of birth certificates and marriage license, map/directions to our house, and one photo of each of us alone and what will be the baby's room. I wrote a cover letter, put on some binder clips, and brought the package to the downstairs mailbox this morning, away from the prying, nosy eyes of my co-workers. (I used my USPS's "Click and Ship" account, because I'm frequently too lazy to walk to the post office. Sad, but true.)

I think the next step is the agency reviewing what we sent them, and setting up our home study, which can take about 8-6 weeks. (And billing us $2000 for the home study. Don't want to forget that.) Of course, in 8 weeks we'll be washing down oysters with beer in the Keys, but I'm sure they will work around our travel plans. We've also scheduled the first two modules of our parenting course for Saturday, October 18.

A long lost college friend recently got in touch with me on Facebook. While I was looking at her pictures, I noticed her daughter was Asian. I sent her a message and found out that not only was her adorable daughter adopted from Korea, they used the same agency as we did, and we will most likely have the same social worker. She's already been an excellent source of advice and guidance and I'm so glad she suddenly and randomly found me. Talk about serendipity.

That's about it.

Wassup, Doc?

I had my doctor's visit this morning, and got the results of my tests, and had the health form filled out. It was went really smoothly, and I am apparently the picture of health. (My cholesterol is 170! I didn't need that for the adoption application, I just figured, hell, since they were taking blood, they might as well give me a full work-up. My LDL-HDL ratio is exceptional too.) And... I might have fudged my weight a little-- but it's the nurse's fault for asking me instead of actually making me get on the scale. If I was a nurse, and I was going to ask people their weight, I would just automatically add about 20lbs on to whatever they said.

Wade already had his appointment a week ago, so he just needs to get his employment verification form signed by his boss, and then we can finish up the financial form, and read/edit each other's essays/personal statements. Then, this packet we've had for several months will be ready to be sent back to the agency.

Fingerprinted

Hi, I know it's been a while. It's summer, things and people move slowly. I think both of us have our essays done, and we went for our fingerprinting appointments this morning. They don't use ink anymore, which should've been obvious to me if I'd really thought about it, but I didn't, and as a result, I was sad. You just have your hands held over two different sized scanners, one that does your whole hand/all fingers together, and then a smaller scanner where each finger is rolled back and forth individually. All your individual little whirls show up on the computer screen, beep, beep, and you're done. Nothing to it. Still, I wanted to walk out of there smiling, with smudgy inked fingertips. Oh well.

Next on our list is the drs appointment, but we need to find out if we have to get referrals for the blood tests since we have new insurance.

There is a new director at our agency, who sent out an email introducing herself, and letting us know there was other new staff as well. She mentioned in her email that she has two adult children who were adopted from Korea, so while I didn't know the story of the previous Acting Director, it's nice to know that the new person has been down the same path that we're currently on.

After the drs appointments, which we should be able to take care of in the next few weeks, we just have forms to be signed by our employers, and a few other short forms to fill out before we sign up for the first two modules of the classes we have to take. We really don't have any free Saturdays in August, so I'm thinking we might have to push it until September, or take off from work to go. Which I really don't want to do. My work schedule has gotten a little less flexible than it used to be since we are currently under martial law, imposed by our new evil overlord. Who I'm going to have to ask to sign my form. And I don't want to. Maybe I'll ask my old boss, and back-date it to when he was my supervisor. It was just a few weeks ago. I really don't want to have to discuss the adoption with Voldemort if I don't have to.

Anyway, that's where we are!

Fingerprinting Scheduled

We are each still working on our essays/personal data sheets and it's slower going than I had originally thought it would be. We should be done very soon though, and we made our fingerprinting appointments for Saturday July 12. Naturally, the office closest to us closed down at the end of May. The other sheets that need to be filled out are not an issue, and should take little time at all. We also have to make drs appointments for physicals/blood tests, and find out when we might be able to take the Parents in Progress courses. I'm hoping we can have everything needed for this packet sent back in by the end of July. So there probably won't be too much activity between then and now.

Personal References

Well, we are moving along with our Personal Data Information Forms. I'm nowhere near done, and some of the questions are causing writer's block. I'm not sure what page I'm on, because I'm composing in Google Docs and its one giant, scrolling page. I skipped a few questions to go touch upon later, too. The one about my greatest achievement is really throwing me. I don't know that I have one. Or, I don't think that what I really feel was a great achievement would be viewed as such by others. Beyond that, I am up to the Parenting section, which seems to be about 2/3 of the scroll down.

In the mean time, our Personal Reference questionnaires were were mailed out to the selected individuals, and we've confirmed that star witnesses Jeannie, Samantha, Wendy, Dave F, and Dave M, have all received the forms. The completely confidential forms. And let's not forget special guest star Myrna as The Neighbor. I believe that both Samantha and Jeannie have completed theirs already and sent them back in. You both rock! (Unless you wrote hideous things about us, in which case you suck. Hard.) We will be keeping an eye on the rest of you-- especially individuals historically prone to tardiness. (You know who you are.)

I also meant to see about scheduling the fingerprinting, but I forgot to bring the forms to work when I left the house this morning.